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Happy New Year everyone! I hope you are well or just focusing on God. I know how tough things can be and how lonely we can become, but take heart, for Christ is with you- and his presence resides within you. What a powerful and amazing journey I have been on this last year in 2024. Life can often feel like a chaotic storm. When betrayal, loss, and fear strike, it may seem overwhelming. Yet this year also revealed something profound: the growth that emerges from adversity. It’s a journey through God’s garden, where pain acts as a fertilizer, nurturing our strength in Christ. Reflecting on a dream I had, I sat on a bench in a beautiful burgundy sweater, dark jeans, and boots. My hair was blown out, and laughter filled the air as I talked with someone. I felt a deep sense of wholeness. In that moment, I realized that growth in Christ isn’t a one-time event; it's an ongoing journey. Just as a flower develops from a tiny seed into a full blossom, we too learn and grow through life’s trials. The Metaphor of Growth Consider the life of a flower. It begins as a little seed in the ground. With time, water, and sunlight, it breaks through to become a sapling. This isn’t just a one-and-done event. Flowers bloom multiple times, adjusting to their surroundings and renewing themselves each season. Similarly, our faith journey is marked by cycles of growth—a learning process that can lead to significant change. I faced fears that left me paralyzed, including grappling with the idea of poverty. I didn't grow up having much by American standards I know what it's like to go hungry. God helped me face this fear. He revealed that this was a lack of trust in him and his provision. However, through that fear, I discovered a powerful principle: God empowers us not just to survive but to flourish abundantly. According to TIAA, 42% of U.S. adults say that money negatively impacts their mental health[...] However, I learned that money is merely a tool; the real saving grace is Jesus. Choosing to Stay with God Amid the chaos, I made a deliberate choice to stay close to God. Remaining in His garden demands commitment. It's a decision to embrace the life He has for us, even when adversity arises. Like flowers that don’t speak yet respond to the love and care they receive, we, too, must respond to God. We must trust in His plan when life becomes challenging. I realized that God's work in our lives isn’t always easy to see. Like flowers stretching toward the sun, we must embrace discomfort as part of the growth process. It’s in these trying moments that we uncover not just who we are but who we are meant to be in Christ. Embracing the Process Spiritual growth isn’t confined to a single event; it happens repeatedly across various life aspects. The challenges we encounter are opportunities for transformation. Think of a flower that continues to bloom season after season. We, too can flourish through our experiences, learning resilience, strength, and grace. Moving video with a dog putting flowers on a window sill. The quote pictured is: Beautiful flowers for a beautiful person. Nurturing Your Journey As I reflect on the past year, it’s clear that our trials can provide the fertile ground needed for faith to thrive. Each betrayal, loss, and moment of fear has drawn me closer to God, revealing the strength we can only find through Him. As we navigate through life’s seasons, let’s embrace our role in God’s garden. Adversities are not just hurdles but steps toward growth, guiding us to the abundant life that God has promised. If you're feeling overwhelmed, remember you are not alone in your struggles. Embrace the journey, lean into the love of God, and witness how He transforms your pain into something beautiful. References: Anderson, T. (2024, February 28). TIAA institute report finds ties between financial stress and mental health | institute . Www.tiaa.org . https://www.tiaa.org/public/institute/about/news/tiaa-institute-report-finds-ties-between-financial-stress-and-mental-health ‌

I feel like I am at a brand-new start once again, trying to understand what God is doing this time around. I am discovering a mature version of myself in Christ, trying to shed away anything detrimental to my growth, and being able to touch those around me. Knowing who you are in Christ should come with a level of humility and understanding of humanity and love, to love with the love of Christ. Under God's guidance, I have found myself speaking sweetly in a way that is nurturing and comforting to my well-being. At a time when I am experiencing bitterness and personal suffering, I find it more necessary to be loving. I am at a place where the little girl inside of me is no longer trying to protect me. Instead, she gives me what she dreamed we would have needed: a gentle and loving language that positions us for success. Tough love demands you to be something you are ill-equipped and insufficient for instantaneously. Unconditional love is patient and graceful enough to prepare you and allow you to grow into who you are meant to be. I recently watched a video about tough love and produced this quote. I often think of my mother, who saw my softness as a flaw. Not because she didn't value it, but because she knew of a world that would take you in, chew you up, and spit you out. My mother would tell me she felt like it was her job to toughen me up for the realities of this world. However, I often wondered if I would ever have a soft place to land. Why couldn't someone teach me how to navigate this world just as I am? Some things never change about you. My sweetness, no matter how hard I tried, would not leave me. I grew angry, unstable, and lost from trying to be and operate out of something that went against who God created me to be. Tough love only worked because it fueled my desire to run away. I often fantasized about escaping what I knew as a harsh and dangerous world. The same language my mother used to toughen me up would work as my inner dialogue whenever I made a mistake or when I considered something to be a failure; even my success, I summed up to be insignificant. It wasn't until last year (2023) when I reached the end of myself that I realized. I was never going to be able to move forward without changing the way that I spoke to myself. It was a hindrance to my growth. I kept feeling like I should be "there" already. I should be mature already and should have the growth I desire to see. This line of thinking kept making me chase things that would lead to me burning out. God constantly, to the point of (fleshly) annoyance, would remind me that he loved me. He was here to help me achieve the vision HE GAVE to me. I wanted to be her, but to get to that woman, I had to let go of those negative thinking patterns. You cannot nurse someone back to health with harshness; you have to attend to their needs, watch over them, and feed them medicine. I had to learn that I could not force my way into a healthier version of myself; I was going to do the hard thing, which was unconditionally love myself. If all you have known is talking to yourself with harsh words, expecting things to change, and for you to all of a sudden feel loved - you'll be waiting forever. Unconditional Love comes at the expense of your anger, pride, and selfish ambition. Love has the ability to dismantle all the things that stand at the gate to oppose you. You can't expect to walk in love and victory when you are in direct opposition to it. Your words are powerful, and by reinforcing yourself with words of the destroy you, you stonewall love. You command it to leave with bitterness on your tongue. 'Love Don't Live Here Anymore' by Rose Royce was a song my mother and I used to love. I will pull a verse just to emphasize the point. [Verse 2] Love don't live here anymore Just emptiness and memories Of what we had before You went away Found another place to stay, another home Do you see it? Do you see the weakness in loving yourself (and others) roughly? Why would anyone want to stay in a place that is dry and deserted. Love has the ability to bind up broken hearts, heal, and transform us into new creatures. How then do you justify such bitterness? I didn't even realize the change had occurred until a few days ago (It's October 6th, 2024 1:58am). When I called myself "sweetheart." Imagine my surprise as I was sweetly talking to myself after facing rejection. I encouraged myself to keep going and to continue to do what God told me to do anyway, despite feeling inadequate. I felt so much joy for realizing that I gave myself the best gift - the ability to love myself in good times and especially bad times. God keeps His words and His vision is coming true. Not by me forcing it, but because He, the amazing Father that He is, modeled it for me so I could do it for myself. Jesus is real, and this is one of a trillion reasons why we love Him. With this newfound language, I can be a better lover and member of my community, and to Jesus Christ, I am grateful. Thank you for stopping by! Love, Troysha

This could just be me, but my writing feels so much more mature now that I am growing in maturity with Christ. There are a lot of things that I would have spent time crying about that I now pray about and actually believe i'll be delivered from. This blog post is near and dear to my heart, and I'm going to try to keep it as short and sweet as possible. Over the last 5 months, I have been praying to God for emotional intelligence. In this process, the things that I had to lay down were things I never wanted to say out loud. Things that caused me to blow up or be triggered by something that someone said or moments that I knew what the issue was, but I didn't want to say it because it was unfavorable. It was ugly. To be emotionally mature is to take accountability for ourselves. Not in the way that people demand from us, but in the way that Christ calls us to. Accountability is the truth! 1 Corinthians 13:6 ESV (love) [6] It does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. A lot of times, these things we are scared to shine light on can fester and grow into sinful actions. For a very long time, I was insecure, and I was angry at the world and at people who never had to go through the things that I had to go through. This was causing resentment, anger, and other hurtful emotions to build up inside of me. This caused me to lean into being stubborn, which is basically pride in poor clothing. The Lord taught me that both of those things are so trivial. They are self-centered and prideful. That may be a little harsh to some who may read this blog post, but it's true. Where is your identity? Is it in what you can do, or is it in the one who created you? When you confess your sins to God, you allow him to expose the deep roots of something that is troubling. God will give you the words to call it out, cast it out, and get rid of it for good. Having the words to call a thing by its name could be shown in the story of Jesus casting out Legion. ****In no way, shape, or form am I telling you this is the revelation of this event, but it relates to this topic.*** Mark 5:9-10. ‭Mark 5:9-10 NIV‬ [9] Then Jesus asked him, “What is your name?” “My name is Legion,” he replied, “for we are many.” [10] And he begged Jesus again and again not to send them out of the area. https://bible.com/bible/111/mrk.5.8-10.NIV But verse 8 says this: ‭Mark 5:8-10 NIV‬ [8] For Jesus had said to him, “Come out of this man, you impure spirit!” Jesus already knew what was in the man and guaranteed he already knew their name was legion. I am not making an equivalent to the scriptures directly, but showing you what it felt like to walk this out. When I read this, it showed me that God knows what to do and how to handle a situation. God will meet me in a place, even though I may not always feel like I need deliverance or am sinful. Insecurity, or whatever you're going through, may not feel like it relates to sin, but it does. God had been asking me to sit with him, and I would, but I couldn't figure out what to say. I needed to repent first. We must ask God for repentance, and then we can deal with the rest. I had a situation happen that made me have such a strong emotional feeling that I had no choice but to be vulnerable and tell God what I was feeling, and when I did, he gave me the name of it. That identified the root of something, and it was pulled up in that instant. This was insecurity. I know who I am in Christ; I know what value I hold, but I didn't feel secure enough to accept and receive it. I try to ask God to identify my sins, known and unknown, so I can cast them down and create more space for holiness and righteousness. I now know that I'm a slow processor, and I am still working on being a better communicator of my emotions and feelings in regards to my boundaries. Realizing that insecurity was stifling my voice, I knew I was going to have to speak up more, be bold, and surrender to God in a new way. Letting other people's opinions rule over you is disobedience. How can Christ be your Lord and Savior when you're allowing people to dictate who you are and what you can do? Just because you respect this person and their opinion doesn't mean you have to agree. In the middle of me pouring my heart out. I dried my tears so quickly after hearing this revelation. I apologized to God. It was as if I was delivered from something I knew I had but did not have a name for. That wasn't my identity in Christ. With the work I have been doing on myself and coming to terms with my humanity, I realize I will never be perfect. I am not Christ, but I was created in his image. I am a beautiful woman of God, and it's not based on my outward appearance. What makes me beautiful is my soul, rooted in Christ. Sometimes you can give power to the wrong words or names. It could be uncomfortable to call these things out. I did not want to attach myself to such things. However, what I realized in that moment was that the root was being removed. Even though all of these years I knew what I was capable of, I shy away from it because I believe the limitations set on me. I am valuable! Speaking the words does not give them power. You have to believe that those words are true in order for them to have power over you. We need to be able to identify our aches, our pains, and the unsuitable parts of ourselves that we would rather bury. We will be just like the man who was inhabited by legion. These things should not tear us apart from our Lord, our community, or our sanity. You need to know the name because Jesus Christ gave us the authority to get rid of it! Call out the darkness in your life. Call it out and tell it you don't have authority here. So you can do the real work of holding yourself accountable and healing. Be honest and say that you're angry that you had to go through this process, but rejoice that Christ has overcome the world. Boy, that was quicker than I thought it was going to be. That's all I have to say! -Troysha Header image generated through AI

If you were talking to someone else about what they had gone through, what would it sound like? How would you encourage them? Side note: This is what AI came up with for the heading photo! Now cool is that?! I think my letter would sound like this: Hey girl! You know you're really hard on yourself with all the noise that is going on in the world. On one side, we have fire and brimstone; on the other side, you have worldly ambition, ideals, and wealth. On the other side, you have the love of Christ, his peace that surpasses all understanding. The joy of you discovering him through his word, and on the last side, you have you, your sinful nature that despises correction and hates righteousness. Your flesh would be more than happy to see you fail and fall back into worldly pursuits. There's nothing wrong with a little fire that purifies God's correction, but more importantly, seek out and accept God's love. Uncover it with the truth and not just facts. Seek his face, because in it you will see a father's love. I know you don't quite understand that word, but God has shown you that a father who corrects and directs is firm as well as nurturing. Remember that you are not valued based on your work alone. It is not your merit that earns you love, but it is in God, who knew you before he created you in your mother's womb. You were created from love, for God is love, and he knows the plans that he has for you to give you hope and a future. Drown out the noise. Keep your eyes on God, and he will let in the voices that will help you bring yourself closer to him. What matters in this life is Christ and the storied in your heart (the books, the movies, the plays, and the scripts) will reflect that. All of it is a means to get people to look at God. As we embark on this quest called unconditional love, accept the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, your sickness, and your health until death, you will depart from this earth and hopefully receive everlasting life with Jesus Christ. So I hope you know that you are loved. You are worthy. Keep your eyes on him and him alone. I love you too. Troysha.

Definition of release: 2. allow (something) to move, act, or flow freely. Relief 1. a feeling of reassurance and relaxation following release from anxiety or distress. "much to her relief, she saw the door open" Similar: reassurance consolation comfort solace calmness relaxation repose ease 2. assistance, especially in the form of food, clothing, or money, given to those in special need or difficulty. "raising money for famine relief." (Courtesy of Google.com) These are the words that came out during my time with Christ today. Thank God we don't look like what we are going/been through! I can experience a lot of hope deferred, but the holy spirit always quenches it, and turns it into a burning desire to see it through. (1 John 4:4) Little children (believers, dear ones), you are of God and you belong to Him and have [already] overcome them [the agents of the antichrist]; because He who is in you is greater than he (Satan) who is in the world [of sinful mankind].AMP. I can't speak for your life, but I know God well enough that turbulence is just a rough patch before the ascension or descension to your destination. He has the whole world in his loving hands, and we may not always understand what he is doing, but trust whatever the Lord has for you. I pray the Lord will reveal his "exquisite surprise" (why am I like this?? Exquisite?) in his timing. He is a wonderful father and loves to give to us. So, I pray that you can receive, release unnecessary baggage, and get the relief you are praying for. With much haste (haste?) and prayer, (Troy)sha Songs for inspiration: In the morning- Mary Mary Set the Atmosphere -Kurt Carr

I originally drafted this post on August 21, 2023, and I had no sense of direction at that time.Hello, how are you? I hope you are well. I'm back, hopefully for good, this time on my blog, but. I took some time off work to recuperate with God. This morning, I felt so peaceful. So beautiful and so loved. As I was getting ready for the day to do my skin care and my makeup, I kept hearing, "And she laughed. " So, of course, I took myself to Genesis chapter 17 and a little bit of 18. As I was reading, I found great joy in what God is doing in my life. Note: I am not comparing myself to Abraham and Sarah, just pulling from them what the Lord is doing in me. Genesis 17:15 then God said to Abraham as for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai (my princess), but her name will be Sarah (princess.) 16 I will bless her and indeed I will also give you a son by her. Yes, I will bless her and she shall be a mother of Nations; Kings of people will come from her. Genesis 18:9 then they said to him, "Where is Sarah your wife?" And he said," there, in the tent." 10. He said," I will surely return to you at this time. Next year; and behold, Sarah, your wife will have a son." And Sarah was listening at the tent door, which was behind him 11 now Abraham and Sarah we're old, will advance in years; she was past [the age of] child bearing. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself [when she heard the LORD'S words], saying, "After I have become old, shall I have pleasure and delight, my lord (husband) being so old?" All scriptures come from the AMP Translation. Of course, these versus are talking about a very specific situation that a lot of people can relate to. I want to look at it from the perspective of applying it to my own life at this current time of my walk with the Lord. I have decided to start over; I've surrendered my ideas, my thoughts, my character—you name it—to the Lord, and in this process, I have felt like a child, learning new things that I felt like I should have already learned. And the reason why this is so important, especially for the title, is that Sarah and Abraham were well into their '90s (100s) of age. God was bringing a promise—a promise to pass at an unconventional time. I don't know what it's like to have a baby, but I would imagine it's like starting all over again. Jesus tells us in Matthew 18:3 why. I think at a certain age, we start to realize that we truly don't know everything. However, we have this false sense of identity about knowing what we're supposed to do. Who are we supposed to be, and what are we meant to accomplish on this earth? That is quite a daunting task, and in all honesty, I do believe it's as if we are acting like God. But in the context of this blog post, the reason why I feel like God led me to this verse this morning is that sometimes God's dreams and his plans for us are so big.How are we supposed to believe something of the magnitude that God wants us to do in our lives? I won't go into details I ended up ripping all the prayers I wrote off the walls. When I tell you I was RIPPING paper off the walls, I would tear them into pieces. I threw away my sign that I "Prayed for the things I have Now." Did I? Really? And since they day the Lord has taken me by the hand and gently walked me through a process of rediscovery. It has nothing to do with the wrong reasons, but it had everything to do with where I had placed my identity. We say these phrases. God is a miracle worker. He's a supernatural being; he can make the impossible possible, and we are all quite biblically not called to do the same thing on this earth. But when God presents to us a dream, a blessing, or a hope for the future, we tend to look at God and laugh at what he wants to bring about in our lives. Me Lord? You want to use me to do what? And as I'm starting over, I'm becoming so comfortable with his plan for me. I am renewed with a greater sense of identity in Christ. I have become quite bold. Who I am and my confidence in what I am doing are built on a firm foundation. No, this boldness does not come with the roar. It comes with sweetness and gentleness. It comes with frankness and truthfulness. It comes with childlike curiosity and vulnerability that I can still go to my father in heaven for support for my love of knowledge and wisdom, that I should never stop seeking him, and that my heart should be crowned by his spirit and his spirit alone. This is what it means to be renewed and restored in the image of Christ, especially when it comes to these platforms that God has called me to steward.I am not rushing forward. I am not panicking anymore. I'm not feeling like I'm lacking something or that what God has led me to do on these platforms is not of him because I'm seeking him every day, trying to see how he has made his presence known in my life, and pursuing that. What is now being released is the overflow of what God has poured into me, as it should be. I know what am I am doing and why I am supposed to. So I'll leave the blog posted; if it feels a little unfinished, that's because I'm still making progress. Many thanks for your time, Troysha

Hello, long time no read! I'm going to go ahead and give it to you straight, I've been avoiding blogging because I haven't been feeling creative and I've been exhausted. Sure, I've been posting on my YouTube channel, but writing feels like a performance where I have to give out great wisdom or it's not worth sharing. Recently, I felt a burden to lead where I am and bring peace, respect, love, and vulnerability to our Walks with GOD. Even though I may not have something new to add, I realized that I can be the sister to resonate with the most and gain knowledge and ideas to bring before the lord. What right do I have to stop God from using me in all mediums (writing/speaking/engaging)? God has yet to release me into my creative writing so this is me, hoping you can gain something from these blog posts. One of our campus pastors talked about how we believe we don't have a ministry and God could not use us where we are, and that was it for me. I decided today (March 18, 2024) that I wasn't going to stop what God could do through this blog. I may not see the fruits of where I am just yet, but 8 people subscribe to me about 3 people read my blog posts and that's 11 souls that God has entrusted me with. Although I try not to look at the world for my point of direction for success I can't deny that I feel like I am doing enough, I feel like because God told me to do these things then I am supposed to touch thousands of lives. But for now, God just wants my obedience he wants me to work for a reason he has not disclosed, and my obedience to his command should be greater than this false sense of success. This blog post is a receipt of obedience and in its own right an action of doing what God told me to do. I'll leave it at that for today. Thank you for stopping by and I'll see you again soon!

Hello, how are you? No, really, how are you? I have been a quiet observer of our Lord as he shifts me from the background to the foreground a a leader and dare I say, a business owner? So, I wanted to talk about being a compassionate leader. I know God is calling me to be a business owner (HELP!) and I have been learning from God on how to be a better leader. Let's start with the story of my past, shall we? Long ago, on the streets of Texas Southern University, I took on the responsibility of pushing our theater department further than it had been in years. My mom had died during my sophomore year of college. That meant I was now homeless and having to figure things out on my own. last thing my mama told me was, "Do not depend on my family, Troysha! You don't know them like I do. Make sure you take care of yourself and depend on nobody from my family. You ain't got me to depend on, okay? Do you understand me?"That was the last time I would here my mother's voice before she could no longer talk, and a few days later, I would watch her pass away. She would Still try to fight to say something to me before taking her last breath. The story following my mother's passing will be saved for another blog post, but the truth is, I didn't know what to do with the emotions that would come after my mom passed. I was suicidal, depressed, angry, and most of all grieving. I didn't know how to deal with these emotions, most of the time It manifested as being overly aggressive, taking things personally, and being manipulative. Marry this within a leadership role on a collegiate level while trying to figure things out. You can only imagine that these feelings of anger, hurt, grief, loss, and depression would influence how I spoke to the people I was supposed to be taking care of. I am the type of person who feels like everything is training ground for what you are meant to do this in this world. Nothing is truly free right? To me, this means college was a way to test the waters and practice being a professional in this industry. That was the price of my college education and this roleI took as leader was the cost to understanding what I know now. Everything is a blessing or a lesson from God. I was putting active pressure on my colleagues to behave a certain way. To share this same vision. I was passive-aggressive with the messages even though I saw more in them that they probably could see in themselves. Although I spoke the truth there was no compassion. I was never taught how to be honest without leading with my emotions. I didn't understand that leadership meant coaching. the more I start to study for my master of business administration, the more I learn about leadership. Leadership is not being of service to your own emotions, ideas, projects, or values. Being a leader is to be of service and to nuture your team's development, growth, direction according to your vision. Let's look at the Bible, shall we? By the way, this is not going to be an in-depth look at the leadership of God, but instead, we are going to choose some verses that reminds me of leadership from the biblical perpective. This to me exhibits how our Lord Jesus leads. ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭20:25‭-‬28‬ ‭AMP‬‬ [25] But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles have absolute power and lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them [tyrannizing them]. [26] It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, [27] and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your [willing and humble] slave; [28] just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many [paying the price to set them free from the penalty of sin].” Our Lord our God, putting his life down for the sanctification and cleansing of his people. Being a leader is not about just getting things done or lording over your people, but to serve. Although, we are suffering in our own way this does not give us the right to judge to be inconsiderate of the people that we are leading. Let's look at the book of Luke. ‭‭Luke‬ ‭6:35‭-‬38‬ ‭AMP‬‬ [35] But love [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for] your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; for your reward will be great (rich, abundant), and you will be sons of the Most High; because He Himself is kind and gracious and good to the ungrateful and the wicked. [36] Be merciful (responsive, compassionate, tender) just as your [heavenly] Father is merciful. [37]  “ Do not judge [others self-righteously], and you will not be judged; do not condemn [others when you are guilty and unrepentant], and you will not be condemned [for your hypocrisy]; pardon [others when they truly repent and change], and you will be pardoned [when you truly repent and change]. [38] Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over [with no space left for more]. For with the standard of measurement you use [when you do good to others], it will be measured to you in return.” The measurement that you use will be measured back onto you. Although these verses are pertaining to the character you should exhibit as believers, pay attention to the highlighted portion. So what does this mean in leadership? Let's define responsive, compassionate, and tender. Responsive Is defined as: esponding readily and with interest or enthusiasm. Compassionate means, feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others. And Tender? Tender is feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others. See, I had the vision of what I wanted this organization to be. And although I wish modeling the way, I wasn't getting to the heart of the people because I was ignoring my own heart. I didn't know God as much as I know him now therefore I didn't know how to surrender all of those things to Christ. Leadership is personal. It's having the heart for your people you are leading, and ultimately you get a better response by being those three words; Responsive, compassionate and tender. Because I was in a dark terrible place my mesage was lost on people. It often felt like I was trying to be controlling when all I really wanted was to make everyone to come into their own. How are you going to be a better leader? How are you measuring people's dedication? How are you bringing out the best in your folks and being more compassionate even when you may not get that compassion back? How do you rise above and be a better leader or even let people go if they're not moving in a way that you can steward them? Just a thought. Have a blessed day, Troy <3

Palsm 56: 3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 4 In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. It's not an easy journey for any of us. What I may have discovered at the time of writing this can change in 24 hours, and I drafted this post possibly seven months ago. When writing this, I thought my issue was a lack of faith, but it was a lack of trust. God is quick, but what I've learned so far about faith is that every new level you ascend to God requires a yes and a steady trust that God does not mean to hurt you. But what does the bible say about faith? Matthew 13:31-32 He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. 32 Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.” Unbeknownst to me, my faith wasn't grown by God doing grand miracles. I noticed him changing my thoughts, attitude, thinking patterns, and daily routine. These small acts led me to believe God would do what he said he would do. That way, God can tell me to GO, and I obey. Instead of praying for material things, I now focus on praying for increased wisdom, better thoughts, a pure heart, and good intentions. A few weeks ago, someone told me I have the Gift of Faith, and I realized that I believe God will do the things he said he would do, but I have a hard time trusting that God means no harm. After I confessed this, This person told me we often think safety is comfortable, and that's not always the case. Our enemies can surround us, but our TRUST should be that GOD is there to protect us. To trust despite what our families do or what we go through. God is not man, and his ways are not like ours. There will always be someone who opposes what God says, and tell us how is that possible?! Did God tell you that? I stood by what God told me when I moved to North Carolina. Some of my family spoke against it as if it was unbelievable. Holy Spirit revealed many things to me this time, and sometimes I found myself shaky, but I wasn't going to fold. You must stand ten-toed- flat-footed in the Word of GOD and what he SPEAKS to you. GOD still SPEAKS. When he tells you to start that business or to quit a job, it's for a reason. When God told me to leave my Bed, Bath, and Beyond the job, give all my furniture away, clothes, and shoes, and follow him, He restored everything to me tenfold. Now, of course, I see why. Bed Bath and Beyond is closing, and he planned to move me anyway. It may take God a long time to reveal things to you but be clear that his actions are for your good. I may have faith, but now I must increase my trust in God. He's right here by our side. A Psalm of Fearless Trust in God. A Psalm of David. 27 The Lord is my light and my salvation— Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the refuge and fortress of my life— Whom shall I dread? 2 When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh, My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell. 3 Though an army encamp against me, My heart will not fear; Though war arise against me, Even in this I am confident. 4 One thing I have asked of the Lord, and that I will seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life, To gaze upon the beauty [the delightful loveliness and majestic grandeur] of the Lord And to meditate in His temple. 5 For in the day of trouble He will hide me in His shelter; In the secret place of His tent He will hide me; He will lift me up on a rock. 6 And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me, In His tent I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord. 7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud; Be gracious and compassionate to me and answer me. 8 When You said, "Seek My face [in prayer, require My presence as your greatest need]," my heart said to You, "Your face, O Lord, I will seek [on the authority of Your word]." 9 Do not hide Your face from me, Do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; Do not abandon me nor [a]leave me, O God of my salvation! 10 Although my father and my mother have abandoned me, Yet the Lord will take me up [adopt me as His child]. 11 Teach me Your way, O Lord, And lead me on a level path Because of my enemies [who lie in wait]. 12 Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries, For false witnesses have come against me; They breathe out violence. 13 I would have despaired had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. 14 Wait for and confidently expect the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for and confidently expect the Lord. I challenge you to trust God and have half faith that his words will come true.

I see this all the time online. The information you can consume can influence you to stay on track or fall. It would be best if you kept your eyes clean. This isn't just about keeping yourself pure but about yourself from being led astray. These scriptures may not directly correlatEveryone is so hateful or lustful, especially with the blog post's topic. Still, this is a good starting point about why God requires us to be mindful of what we consume. I searched what the bible says about your eyes. Matthew 6 ESVand Psalms 101 ESV. I think those are good starting points. This blog was drafted months ago. Job 31:7-8 7 if my step has turned aside from the way and my heart has gone after my eyes. and if any spot has stuck to my hands, 8 then let me sow, and another eat. And let what grows for me [a] be rooted out. a You cannot see the forest from the trees. Our eyes often deceive us. Remember, what you consume alters your heart and perception of the Truth. We think we hear from God about someone or something, and our desire/flesh motivates our decision-making In the opposite way of where God is taking us. Because optics will have you out here thinking it's the trust. I would encourage you to seek God because he knows your heart and can see things better than you. He is the magnifying glass, so you can clearly understand that person or idea. It takes discipline. I often hear people misquote this scripture. Psalm 37:4. Here's part of the Psalm for context. Courtesy of https://biblehub.com/bsb/psalms/37.htm Psalm 37 3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. 4Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 5Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will do it. 6He will bring forth your righteousness like the dawn, your justice like the noonday sun. 7Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men prosper in their ways, when they carry out wicked schemes. 8Refrain from anger and abandon wrath; do not fret—it can only bring harm. 9For the evildoers will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land. 10Yet a little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found. 11But the meek will inherit the landb and delight in abundant prosperity. 12The wicked scheme against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them, 13but the Lord laughs, seeing that their day is coming. 14The wicked have drawn the sword and bent the bow to bring down the poor and needy, to slay those whose ways are upright. 15But their swords will pierce their own hearts, and their bows will be broken. 16Better is the little of the righteous than the abundance of many who are wicked. 17For the arms of the wicked will be broken, but the LORD upholds the righteous. 18The LORD knows the days of the blameless, and their inheritance will last forever. 19In the time of evil they will not be ashamed, and in the days of famine they will be satisfied. 20But the wicked and enemies of the LORD will perish like the glory of the fields. They will vanish; like smoke they will fade away. 21The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous are gracious and giving. 22Surely those He blesses will inherit the land, but the cursed will be destroyed. 23The steps of a man are ordered by the LORD who takes delight in his journey. 24Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed, for the LORD is holding his hand.c 25I once was young and now am old, yet never have I seen the righteous abandoned or their children begging for bread. 26They are ever generous and quick to lend, and their children are a blessing. 27Turn away from evil and do good, so that you will abide forever. 28For the LORD loves justice and will not forsake His saints. One thought, video, or conversation can get you off track. Before I gave my life to God (before 2021), my most prominent weak spot was how I viewed relationships and men. I desired relationships but never had the opportunity to talk about them in a healthy (clean) way. So I would often turn to content or friends to understand these things. Relationship discussions made me feel sinful, guilt-ridden, and unworthy of God's love. So I never thought to approach Him entirely for guidance or answers. So I found myself in a situation where my eyes and what I consumed told me it was a good relationship. Instead, I met my insecurities in human form in this man. I thought it was love. This relationship cost me my sanity, my dignity, and my beliefs. It showed me a lot about myself. When I crossed the threshold back into God's arms in 2021, God revealed what I was consuming, who I was hanging around, and what I thought was not his Truth. The moment when I finally accepted that my relationship with that person wasn't rooted in Jesus and was just a means to fulfill my flesh, I was so ashamed. The ways of this world blinded me. I see way too many women and men falling in love with what looks good, what sounds good, and what feels right and good. Real love was from God; it wasn't about someone's body and how that person made you feel. Our flesh is not sustainable or accurate at discerning the truth—relying on our trust in Jesus. I see way too many women and men falling in love with what looks good, what sounds good, and what feels right and good. It may be hard to keep waiting on God's timing, but it's perfect. You feeding your eyes on even what somebody else has or what you THINK is right can cost you. Even if it looks like God, make sure it is. His perfect timing is worth it.

This is quite a long blog post, but thanks for reading! I feel that God is opening my heart again, or I am allowing Him to do so in a new way. So this season, it's me coming to an understanding that my brokenness does not stop me from completing the will of works of God. It doesn't matter how often I stumble or fall, but God will continue honoring his promises as long as I keep going. God will lead me wherever he wants to take me. I worry I might not act at the right time or miss God's plan. To avoid it, I rush to heal myself instead of allowing myself to feel my emotions now. I've been so focused on preservation that I haven't had the space to be present and enjoy the journey. I've mentioned this before. God is doing new work in me. I have been asking God where I fit in this purpose. A year ago, I dreamed of God showing me three massive skyscrapers from different perspectives. I was standing directly in front of the center building's door, trying to see if I could see the top of this building. It was the tallest of the three. Then God showed it from the perspective of looking at it by drone. They were taller than any buildings that would safely exist on Earth. In the third view, I could see all three buildings from a regular point of view. They were all a solid blue color. I asked God, "What is this? "Is this for me?" God said, "This is what I want to give you." I asked, "God, how will you produce these buildings from me?" God showed me that at the time of deep study and getting closer to him getting to know who he is. I have never got that question answered, and I believe that God is answering it today through a video and watching online. God is the one who makes all the fantastic credible things happen because he equipped us with the gifts and talents in whatever he wants to give us to produce these things. Being human-being broken does not hinder the plans that Jesus has for me. That's just the reality of being a human being, of being a person who was, you know, struck by sin, right? My success doesn't fall on my shoulders. It's my job to walk it out but to see it come to pass? That's on Jesus. It will happen as long as I remain obedient and in walking relations with God. I'm going to make mistakes. I probably never see the impact that I make. I didn't give myself enough room to grow and realize I could be as big as God intended. I don't need to fear that God will abandon me because of my brokenness or if I don't respond to Him in a certain way. He loves me anyway. I've been doing that for others, and it's time to make space for a new version of me to be born. I realized I was too focused on delivering and providing that I forgot to step back and appreciate the present moment. I love loving people; I love giving. Providing or sharing everything I have to offer is not always necessary. I need some time for myself. I am ready to invest in myself and take steps to improve and give from the overflow. God has told me in many ways that he is proud of me. It took me five months, but now I have seven more to figure out who I am and what I can do. I want to understand how being God's daughter affects me. I struggle with accepting God's love and forgiveness because I feel unworthy. Only today did I realize why I think this way. Today I feel anointed because I agree with what God has for me. There's a level of trust that I am surrendering myself to God now. This moment is to know that I deserve everything God has for me, broken or not, and ultimately allow myself space to be broken. It's the space to be. We're going to learn. We're going to prosper. We're going to do all those things well. Today is May 20th, 2023, and I realize that God's word over me was accurate - I can receive and give everything God has planned for me. We can listen to all these voices, but God gives us these gifts for a reason. It is to be transformative and to fill his purpose for us on this Earth. But God also loves you so much that he calls you a friend. Even though God doesn't require us, He still desires us. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in what we're learning from God that we forget He's been shielding us all this time so that we can stay faithful to His promises. I have been so focused on not losing him that I didn't realize he was committed to me. I was trying too hard to be perfect, leaving me exhausted. He has been supporting and protecting me all along. But all I know is that I have come to a revelation of some kind. This walk with God is not easy, but it's easier than being in the world. I'm just grateful! To God's Glory, amen.

Hello all! I know I haven't been active on my blog and social media because I'm trying to "not" figure this thing out. Trust and healing are a journey, and right now, I am in a place where I thought I was right where I wanted to be and getting ready to launch into the next big thing. But the next big thing is healing. I am currently undergoing a period of self-exploration. I'm using the bible to truly discover who I am now that I've overcome my isolation and embraced freedom through Christ. It's incredible how difficult it is to pinpoint areas for personal growth once we welcome this process. I thought I was standing in a position of steadiness and wisdom: being flat-footed in the calling/purpose and identity in Christ. Only recently, after a period of questioning, did I realize that I am still operating in survival mode. I don't claim to have all the answers, but coming to this reality is upsetting. I thought I had overcome my fear of putting everything in God's hands. I had no problem asking God about my daily business or what was next. Still, I wasn't asking him what I would need to accept and what areas I needed to grow to the next level. I've been burned yet again by trusting people. I felt ready to tackle God's plans, but now I'm back where I started without realizing it. I have faith, but the courage to trust people and God when people are so hard of heart. I didn't know my relationship with God reflected in my relationship with people. I keep them at a distance. This post is sparked by events that happen constantly in this season of my life. God's plan has pushed me out of my comfort zone. I've gotten comfortable about getting part of the story myself. I have an issue with walking in between when you need more clarity. I've been studying the word of God, taking walks outside, and sitting in silence. Doing so allows the Holy Spirit to move and impart wisdom, but who knew this season was about me? I've always been willing to lend a hand to others, which has been fulfilling, but unfortunately, I haven't extended the same level of care to myself. I've been taught that I come last. Now that I have to put myself first and realize who I am, my authority, and my strength in spirit, it's lost on me. Sometimes, your surroundings can reveal that you've only scratched the surface of self-discovery. Moving to a different State taught me I made enough progress to get me here, but now? I need to learn who I am, and that's the assignment. There is much to learn about yourself. I have been walking and getting rides to a job a mile away. I stay under the graciousness of God now. Nobody can claim what God is doing in my life; nothing will stop me when I walk on the other side of this purification process. To God be the Glory.